i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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