you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
