ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Your tits are I can't wait for
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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