Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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