peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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