operation harelip BJ is a go
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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