all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
