so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
