I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize