Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
