he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
