Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

so... i had sex tonight

(906): View more from Michigan

with a midget

(906): View more from Michigan

nicccce tits for a little person

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(636): View more from Missouri

just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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(740): View more from Ohio

Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.

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(210): View more from Texas

Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat

(830): View more from Texas

You are so not ready for motherhood

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(416): View more from Toronto

Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

(613): View more from Ontario

you're kidding right?

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(773): View more from Illinois

How does a face ride mean we're back together?

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(501): View more from Arkansas

PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.

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