next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
