maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
