she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
