You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
