I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
As shirtless as possible
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
