walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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