I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
