Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
