The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
