I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
