Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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