Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
