I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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