When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
