hell yes lets make some ravioli
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
