I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
