can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize