so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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