my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
