I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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