By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize