Christians are straight up FREAKS
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
