Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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