Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
