Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
