Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
