i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
