this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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