I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
