Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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