If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
