bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
