Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
