We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
