So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
