Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
