I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
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