Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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