I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
