the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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