my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
