I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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