Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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